What's Wrong With The Pole?

Written by lucy swift on Thursday, 16 July 2009 05:49

I hate working out. I mean, working out is, in my mind, sort of like pretending to be a gerbil running around in a wheel. Treadmills confound me. When people say that the thrill of the physical challenge makes running on a treadmill worthwhile, I believe that they really feel that way, but I certainly don't go rushing out for a new pair of sneakers and an Equinox membership. When I lived in LA, I joined Sports Club LA, but when I couldn't find the steam room in the locker room and had to share a punching bag in kickboxing class, I pretty much called it a day. I decided that walking my dog and private sessions of Dance Dance Revolution would have to suffice. Having moved to New York less than a year ago, I have developed a truly wonderful relationship with a man I love and I love the city, but I have discovered that my naturally friendly attitude is not exactly winning me friends, so much as it is making people wonder about my questionable mental health and low IQ. An exercise class, I decided, might be a great way to meet some nice girls. Naturally, I chose pole dancing. To be clear, I will never be a stripper. I have no desire to become a stripper, which is actually quite fortunate, because to see me on a pole is about as sexy as watching a tree monkey scale a tree. I'm ok with this. I love climbing the pole. I love spinning around on the pole. When it comes time to grind my hips and slither up to the pole, things get ugly. Awkward, certainly. I'm a five foot one Jewish girl. Executing a perfect "body wave" is just not so high on my agenda. I won't lie-- the six inch heels are fantastic. Mine are pink patent leather with clear heels. I am the girl who signed up for field hockey because I liked the skirts. I've wandered. My point is simply that I've found a sport I love and that sport happens to involve dressing up like a stripper and climbing a pole, but it makes me happy and it doesn't feel a bit like working out, plus the constant challenge just feels good. So I am coming out in favor of pole dancing and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I must say, sharing a sweaty pole is pretty gross-- and I don't think I'm making friends every time I spray the poles in class with disinfectant.... So now I just need to convince my boyfriend that a pole in the living room is just the thing he's always wanted. My inner athlete is a pole dancer.

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